DORIS and ETHEL

It strikes me as more than a little disconcerting that the acne crème you might be talked into using by a well-intentioned doctor might result in heart failure or stroke.  It seems odd that diarrhoea could be the side effect of yet another prescription for anti-depressants. I would find not being able to get off the toilet rather depressing. Actually on that front, most of the anti-depressants have many depressing side effects.

The part that I don’t really understand is how much comparatively worse some of these side effects seem than the ailment that they drug is meant to cure. Usually for Ethel and me, a good cup (okay pot) of coffee can cure most of these ailments to the point where when we check in the bother diary and find we are not so bothered by the problem from the beginning. It certainly complicates the issue to have suddenly found that the “cure” for your horribly disfiguring mild case of eczema is “in a few cases death.” It also complicates things when you have to tell your doctor to prescribe you these prescription-only “cures” after you make an appointment to get the prescription. It certainly sounds like a drug company attempting to monopolize a market and create huge demand for… (Dare I say it?) an unnecessary product.

Just a few thoughts,
Doris

I would suggest that, rather than keep increasing the cost of stamps, the Post Office might save on delivery costs by delivering everything to the first house on each road.

The people in the first house could just take out their own items and send everyone else’s cards and letters next door. This would encourage neighbours to speak to each other and all the junk mail could go in a bin at the other end. House prices would have to be adjusted to make up for the added inconvenience of the things left at your location but everyone would know each other much better.

But… they have already started this apparently… and there are some flaws in the new plan.

I am happy to send mail delivered to me to the next house up – It is only fair as my other neighbour is bringing me all the mail of mine that he receives.

2 doors up they moved out months ago.  Delivering there is the weak link in the chain and immediately highlights why this new system is doomed…

We will just have to go back to delivering according to the super-duper, high-technology  sorted, postal code or zip code system that I thought they used anyway….Or, start training our own pigeons.

I’m more than slightly disturbed with some of the more fatal side effects of the drugs that some “well intentioned” doctors prescribe to deal with way less fatal medical “problem.” From the prime time television it would appear that you can either have acne or maybe clear skin with only a possible stroke. It’s interesting how completely unrelated some of these side effects are to the medical situation that the doctors are trying to fix.

 A pandemic is a disease spread over a large geographic area. That would include lots of things that I’m not seeing a google-earth map for: like drinking and driving, rudeness and obesity (which I believe we used to call being really fat when I was young and not really fat at all.) We get flu seasons every year. They like to label it, and this year it’s labeled “Swine flu” and suddenly there seems to be a panic. Animals are being slaughtered, trade is affected and a lot of public spending and meetings are happening………WHY????

We aren’t getting it from pigs and the food supply is as safe as normal (not sure that is reassuring, but …Doris and I are vegetarians so it’s your own fault if you don’t cook properly   )

According to flufacts.com “In the U.S., an estimated 25–50 million cases of the flu are currently reported each year — leading to 150,000 hospitalizations and 30,000–40,000 deaths yearly. If these figures were to be estimated incorporating the rest of the world, there would be an average of approximately 1 billion cases of flu, around 3–5 million cases of severe illness, and 300,000–500,000 deaths annually”

So, the few deaths we have seen attributed to this year’s version are probably par for the course. Obviously they are traumatic for the people affected, but its not something that would warrant the incredible publicity so far.

Schools are sending home notices about keeping your house clean and using a tissue when you sneeze – What the heck do these people do normally? Wipe their nose on a student??

So, if you get the flu this year – eat properly, behave in a sociable way and don’t give it to anyone you know. If you feel really bad, your doctor will I am sure be thrilled to hear from you – don’t forget to ask if it’s the swine flu. The statistics people will want to know.

Harrold’s Christmas present finally arrived on February 28th. I thought I had had a senior moment, and had forgotten where I had hidden it over the Christmas season…

It was a bit startling to see that the ” USPS Priority” delivery had been sent out on December 14th!

Even more startling was the standard red ink stamp put on the label (twice) as some kind of explanation of why priority delivery over 400 miles had taken the Post Office two and a half months- “Found in supposedly empty equipment“.

• Why does this happen so often that they need a red stamp for it?

It’s a mystery to me that some people manage to keep their jobs, let alone their dinner down, when at 7:00 the family is all gathered around the television watching Jeopardy or the like, and you are bombarded with the fourth ad for a vaginal itch treatment. Or they zoom in on the puss filled cold sore that will be ‘virtually’ invisible after a zillion treatments with this nasal spray. Rewind a little, I’d like to return to “that itch you can’t scratch,” first of all- why can’t I scratch it? Secondly, how do YOU know? Most importantly- why are you telling me this at dinner time, I apparently trusted you with very private information and you betray that trust by telling millions of families- how could you?!

I’ve just been severely embarrassed by my lack of Jeopardy skills, and then I watched extremely attractive people tell me that I can cure my allergies with only a few ‘side-effects’ (another blog for another day) and then you have the nerve to tell me I can’t scratch my itch.

So M(iss)r(s). Advertiser, leave your lectures for after prime time… I need the pick me up of some supporting actress’ drama to build up my ego first. Or, at the very least, could you only run it once.

Peace

Doris

It is my great pleasure and honour to introduce a very close friend of mine and of Doris’ – Aggie.

She is knowledgeable on many (many)  subjects and I’m sure she will add to the rich tapestry of what is known as “Doris and Ethel” (but is really a blog). So get yourselves a nice cup of coffee and maybe one of those nice biscuits and prepare to be amazed.

Take it away Aggie!

After many minutes of intense research I think we have the answers about Spandex.

Looking at some of the pictures about spandex, I would think it would be OK for looking good while you are fighting crime (it comes in some nice colours and patterns too), but I don’t think the policemen should start wearing it…. well, most of them anyway (I was thinking more of superheroes actually).

You really shouldn’t wear this stuff unless you are very fit and at a private gym. This makes you think – if you are really fit, why are you wasting your money on a gym in the first place?

It’s called spandex because it ex-pands – someone couldn’t spell when they came up with this brilliance! I expect they shied away from calling it pandsex because … well…. it would be wrong. Elastane is not very attractive either. But neither is driving behind someone who can’t afford the private gym and is cycling in those “bike shorts”. You know who you are – Stop It!

There were a lot of nasty words in the technical stuff about this spandex. The sort of words you might associate with the ingredient lists for food you know isn’t doing you any good. So probably it’s not good to eat it either.

They have been using it instead of rubber because it stretches 500 times longer. Don’t test this with your undies elastic because if they are wrong you won’t have any to wear! ..and they do say that rubber is stronger.

Thanks for asking.

Do you have questions that need answering?

Well you will have to let us know immediately, won’t you…  after all I don’t think we are psychic!

Traveling  along the highways of the world, it’s difficult not to notice the strange detritus. Among the bizarre offerings are frequent single items of footwear. A lone shoe, or sometimes a boot!

How do they get there? ….. And how have they been separated from their mates?

Well, it’s shoe bees that cause this.

Some poor motorist is driving along, barely keeping to the speed limit (gasp) and a shoe bee gets in their shoe. And if they are stuck in the passing lane, what can they do?

It’s really terrifying… the poor guy (we’ll call him Frank) reaches down and removes the shoe. Now Frank is really stuck – the bee is still in his shoe. Frank’s no fool – he quickly opens the window on his truck and flings the shoe, and resident bee, onto the verge.

This raises a new and more disturbing question? Boot bees – are they related?