Happy New Year :)

Right, look lively you there.                        What’s your name? – 2012?

OK then – listen up!

There will be none of the utter nonsense we had with that last one – number 2011 or some such drivvle… This year there will be no blindsides, no “sucker punches”, and no taking out at the knees.

I want a fair fight, with the usual Queensbury rules applying.

Ready…Set…GO!!  HAPPY NEW YEAR

Domestic Taxi Service Provider, unpaid

Revised Taxi Drivers’ Code

Part II : Domestic Taxi Service Provider, unpaid

to be known as “The New Code”.

   

    Test assumes minivan is preferred transport. (Licenses to be Class A – Minivan-certified, and B – Other)

2.00.1      All domestic taxi driver applicants must undergo 9 months of training before the Domestic part of the test.

2.00.2      Approved manual labour or psychological conditioning may be substituted at the examiner’s discretion. (Certification of Idiocy or similar by a licensed professional is also an automatic qualify.)

2.00.3      Discharge of passengers at government facilities – Mandatory compliance. Test in all weather conditions, and sleep-deprived.

2.00.4      Closely inspect driver-trainee for performance in long queues of traffic awaiting discharge at one or more of the following:

Sports events; after-school activities; the close confines of unfamiliar non-public driveway configurations.

2.00.5      Test for road rage, with and without random quantities and mixes of:

Minor passengers from within and outside of the habitual family group; dogs; babies with plumbing “issues”.

2.00.6      The Speed test. Check for exit speed after the school bus has gone, without and then with backpack-loading.

2.10.0      During Phase II Driving Exam.

(Drivers must exhibit effects, including wear-and-tear, of at least 16 years of driving under previous conditions)

2.10.1      Test level of service and quality of language when driver is performing the 4am unexpected pick-up manoeuvre. This portion to be supervised by a senior examiner capable of administering caffeine (The hearing-impaired are encouraged to apply)  Place close attention to footwear for this portion of the test – fuzzy slippers are an automatic disqualify. Examiners should be aware that applicants may be looking for the automatic disqualification in Phase II.

NOTE: Administration of this test is for data-collection purposes only and passing does not imply fitness for anything.  And NO, we are not there yet!

Vegetarians don’t eat meat!

I am a vegetarian. For me that means not eating animal parts that had to be killed so that I can eat. I am fine with other people not being vegetarian. But if one more person tells me of a vegetarian they know who eats fish/chicken/clams – I may just become a cannibal!

Hand-sensing soap dispenser – get real!

If you are going to the trouble of using antibacterial soap, why do you need a soap dispenser that senses your hands so you don’t need to touch it?

Surely, if there are germs on the dispenser, they will be gone once you have washed your hands.

I, for one, cannot ever remember going back to touch the dispenser AFTER I have used the soap….

Maybe the manufacturer of the hand-sensing dispenser needs more confidence in their soap, not a fancier dispenser??

More problems with the post!

I would suggest that, rather than keep increasing the cost of stamps, the Post Office might save on delivery costs by delivering everything to the first house on each road.Chat with government about this

The people in the first house could just take out their own items and send everyone else’s cards and letters next door. This would encourage neighbours to speak to each other and all the junk mail could go in a bin at the other end. House prices would have to be adjusted to make up for the added inconvenience of the things left at your location but everyone would know each other much better. :)

But… they have already started this apparently… and there are some flaws in the new plan.

I am happy to send mail delivered to me to the next house up – It is only fair as my other neighbour is bringing me all the mail of mine that he receives.

2 doors up they moved out months ago.  Delivering there is the weak link in the chain and immediately highlights why this new system is doomed…

We will just have to go back to delivering according to the super-duper, high-technology  sorted, postal code or zip code system that I thought they used anyway….Or, start training our own pigeons.

Flu Pandemic 2009 – A Panic-demic

 A pandemic is a disease spread over a large geographic area. That would include lots of things that I’m not seeing a google-earth map for: like drinking and driving, rudeness and obesity (which I believe we used to call being really fat when I was young and not really fat at all.) We get flu seasons every year. They like to label it, and this year it’s labeled “Swine flu” and suddenly there seems to be a panic. Animals are being slaughtered, trade is affected and a lot of public spending and meetings are happening………WHY????

We aren’t getting it from pigs and the food supply is as safe as normal (not sure that is reassuring, but …Doris and I are vegetarians so it’s your own fault if you don’t cook properly 😛  )

According to flufacts.com “In the U.S., an estimated 25–50 million cases of the flu are currently reported each year — leading to 150,000 hospitalizations and 30,000–40,000 deaths yearly. If these figures were to be estimated incorporating the rest of the world, there would be an average of approximately 1 billion cases of flu, around 3–5 million cases of severe illness, and 300,000–500,000 deaths annually”

So, the few deaths we have seen attributed to this year’s version are probably par for the course. Obviously they are traumatic for the people affected, but its not something that would warrant the incredible publicity so far.

Schools are sending home notices about keeping your house clean and using a tissue when you sneeze – What the heck do these people do normally? Wipe their nose on a student??

So, if you get the flu this year – eat properly, behave in a sociable way and don’t give it to anyone you know. If you feel really bad, your doctor will I am sure be thrilled to hear from you – don’t forget to ask if it’s the swine flu. The statistics people will want to know.

Problems with the post.

Harrold’s Christmas present finally arrived on February 28th. I thought I had had a senior moment, and had forgotten where I had hidden it over the Christmas season…

It was a bit startling to see that the ” USPS Priority” delivery had been sent out on December 14th!

Even more startling was the standard red ink stamp put on the label (twice) as some kind of explanation of why priority delivery over 400 miles had taken the Post Office two and a half months- “Found in supposedly empty equipment“.

  • Why does this happen so often that they need a red stamp for it?